Do you rate my book 1-10 plz post your comments. please take the time to read this Sorry about all the grammar mistakes when i copied and pasted it onto this site for some reason it got rid of all the indenting.
Factory
A
Chapter 1
My name is 13904. I have worked in this factory as long as I can remember. I am thirteen years old. All I have learned about my parents is they sold me to this factory for 10,000 dollars. My only friend was a boy named 13905(this is the name of every one in my generation of workers). He died a month ago in a factory explosion. Once he died I learned not to make friends it is too risky in a place like this. I work 10 hours a day. On normal time, sometimes I work 15 hours a day. I live in a 10 foot cabin that has seven boys in it. I still have not learned what this factory makes the 1390's work in the station where all you get to see is a few parts of an engine.
I don't remember ever have seeing actual light of day, all we get is fake light coming from lambs and ceiling lights. In the summer (the only way I can tell it is the summer is a calendar) the factory can get up to 105 degrees. In the winter it can get to -5(they only give us one coat each).We get two meals a day one is slop the other is more slop. I don't know how long this factory actually is, but our part is about 350 feet so it is probably more than 700 yards long. Also it is only ten feet high so all the heat is reflected back at us. I would be grateful if there was a window to open or close at least we could let some of the heat out in the summer. I also wish they gave us water in between one meal and the other meal. About everyday someone dies of heat stroke hypothermia or dehydration. Sometime people go mad so a huge security guard comes in and carries them out we never see them ever again. One time I asked a security guard where they go he said
“you don't want to know”. Every time someone dies or goes mad they replace them instantly. One person only lasted three days and died of heatstroke. I have no idea how I have survived this long. Most go a year then die. I wonder if I will ever get out of here or will I just die all alone in this isolated chamber of death
Chapter 2
One day I was working and I heard a high pitched sound. I instantly knew what it was a factory part about to explode. I knew I was about to die. Then, I saw a blinding flash and then I sank into utter darkness.
When I next woke up there was a blinding light right over my face. My eyes adjusted and I saw a room. It had a flat screen TV and a very comfortable looking down sofa. It also had a very bright green paint. It also had about 500 books all neatly stacked in piles nearly as high as me.
That was when I realized I was not in a hospital room. It had me confused for a second. I mean why whoever owned the factory didn’t put me in an actual hospital. I was still puzzling over that when a person stepped into my room. He was a tall looking man probably about 40 or 50 years old with gray hair. He asked me what my name was, I told him I didn’t have an actual name. He asked if he could call me Nick I said sure. He seemed nice. So I asked him his name and he said his name was Alex.
Then I asked him why I was in a room not a hospital. He said,
“A hospital would not have helped and homemade medicine was much better” Alex said.
“How long had I been unconscious” I asked.
“About a week” Alex replied.
“Wow” I gasped “what happened to put me out for that long?”
“A factory explosion” Alex replied simply. I could tell he was being evasive on purpose.
I replied “a simple factory explosion does not put you out for one week”. “It either kills you or does not injure you”.
Alex said “I must go I am late for an appointment” So Alex left leaving me more confused than when I had got there.”
Chapter 3
The next day I was sent back to the factory. When I got there some people welcomed me with
“back from the dead” and
“I thought you were dead”.
I started working like usual. Feeling a weird sense of comfort about the burning hot stinky factory room.
I turned out the factory explosion had killed five kids and wounded one which was me. Then I started wondering, when other kids had been wounded they had just been left to die. I wondered why they had looked after me. Maybe because I had been there so long I somehow doubted that.
Chapter 4
The next day there was an explosion. It was larger than any other explosion I had ever seen. It killed over 10 people. The next day they replaced the all as usual but there was one catch… There was a girl!
She was very tall. About my age with luscious blond hair and beautiful glittering blue eyes.
When she saw me I swear I saw a glimmer of recognition in her eyes. I wondered if it was just I trick of the light.
That night I was up for a long time thinking. Then I heard I sound. I went over to investigate. When I looked again I saw the girl.
“Hi there” I said.
She replied “what is your name?”
I said “I don’t have one.”
Then suddenly I said “I remember you.”
She asked “where from.”
I said “I don’t know.”
The next day there was another explosion. It blew a hole in the wall. I saw her.
I asked “do you want to run?”
She replied “yes I do.”
“Let’s go,” I told her.
Chapter 5
When we got out we saw a beautiful forest. When we turned around the factory kind of ruined the whole image. From the outside it was about 1,000 yards long.
“Wow” I gasped “that is huge.” Then I saw the sun “wow!” I whispered “that is amazing.”
“You’ve never seen the sun before?” she asked.
“No,” I replied
“Wow they are mean,” she told me.
“That is the understatement of the century,” I said
We fled farther into the woods.
“We need to make a camp,” I told the girl
“Okay,” she replied
We trooped farther into the woods to find a place to make a camp. When we got to a decent place I told the girl
“We need names what will yours be”
She replied “mine will be Rachel”
“Mine will be Ben” I replied to Rachel”
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
The next day when they woke up Ben heard a rustling in the bushes
“Stay down and be quiet” Ben hissed
Then the rustling got closer. They’re going to catch us for sure Ben thought. Then the rustling started getting farther and farther away. Thank The Gods Ben thought
“That was close,” Rachel said
“No kidding,” Ben replied
“We have to move,” Ben told Rachel “They knew we were here, we were just lucky to not be seen.”
“You’re right” Rachel said “somehow they knew,”
The next day we moved to a new location. This one was close to a small town with lots of very branchy cedar trees.
The sun was hot on my back as I walked into the village looking for food to steal. When I got back Rachel was reading a book she had found.
‘Hi there” I startled her.
“How are you doing,” she replied smoothly
“Good,” I said “I found some dinner.” We had been stealing to eat for a couple of days now. Then suddenly an idea popped into my head “Why don’t we sleep up in that tree” I Suggested. “It would be safer than sleeping on the ground.”
“Your right but what if we fall out of the tree” she told me
“We need belts and two sleeping bags” I said “Then we could belt ourselves to the tree.”
“Good idea” she replied “but I don’t want to steal from innocent people”
“Neither do I” I agreed But it is for our safety”
“Okay” she agreed reluctantly
Chapter 6
The next day I went into town looking for a hunting store. When I went in I saw a row of sleeping bags. I then grabbed one and removed the tag then I went out the fire exit. When the alarm came on I went back in and grabbed another. Then I went to a men’s clothing store. I went in and it was just my luck all the belts were in the back. So I grabbed three and left through the fire exit. But when I came back in someone grabbed me!
When I woke up I was in a similar situation to when I had woken up after the factory explosion. Luckily there was no one in the room so I grabbed my stolen phone and called Rachel.
“I was grabbed right after I went in to get the second thing of belts,” I whispered” ‘”I will leave the belts in the window when you see them you will know I am in here.”
“Okay” Rachel replied
“By,” I said. I sighed with relief. Now I know someone will know where I am and will be able to get me out I thought.
Suddenly a man appeared in the door way.
“What is your name,” he asked
“Ben,” I replied simply
“Why were you taking those belts from that store.”
“What belts,” pretending to be dumbfounded
“Don’t play dumb,” he told me “I know you were stealing those belts,”
“If you want to know the truth here it is” I said “Me and my friend Rachel were working in a factory” I started “There was an explosion and I broke out. We had to steal to eat and we wanted to sleep in the trees because it would be much safer because for some reason the Factory people are still looking for us that is why we want to steal those belts.”
Oh,” said the man. “I know about that place”
“How,” I asked then “what do they make”
“I don’t know,” he replied “when I left I left.”
Then suddenly there was a knock at the door.
“Who are you,” the man asked suspiciously.”
“Rachel.”
“Hi Rachel,” I yelled from upstairs
“Ben is that you” she yelled back
“Yes.”
“Come up here” I told her
“No you can’t just come into this house and go upstairs without my permission,” the man broke in suddenly “I never told you you can just invite complete strangers into my house.”
“Why not?” I said with a cheeky grin.
“It’s not funny” he said “I can’t just have complete strangers in my house”
“Am I not a complete stranger?” with an even cheekier grin”
“Okay,” he agreed reluctantly.
“The Rachel came up “how did you get caught.”
“He was waiting in the door when I came back,” I replied
“Oh that explains it.”
“He says he worked in that factory,” I said “I am not sure I can believe it.”
“Me neither,” I replied
Suddenly the man appeared “Want something to eat?”
Somehow I thought he must have been listening in on our conversation “not really,” I told him.
“There are cookies,” he urged “by the way my name is Scott
Chapter 7
When we got down the stairs there was a plump kind looking lady in the kitchen. She appeared to be making cookies.
“Hi there,” my name is Bianca. “Have a cookie and some warm milk.”
“So what are you doing hiding,” Scott asked.
“For some reason they were hunting us,” I replied
“Oh,” that explains a lot
“What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted weakly.
“You could stay with us,” Bianca said
“Oh could we,” that was Rachel. “I have never lived anywhere except for Alex’s’ house,”
“Really I asked” you got it lucky” I told her “I don’t remember anything other than that stinky factory room”
“Well at least you weren’t in forced servitude for 13 years.”
“Actually I was if you did not realize it,” I hissed
“Okay okay,” Bianca broke in “stop arguing about who worked the most.”
“Okay” I said. Then I whispered to Rachel “I worked the most,” Before she could say anything.
“No you didn’t” she yelled indignantly “I did.”
“Okay” I said “I believe you” with a cheeky grin.
“Oh my god!” she yelled seeing my grin “you are insufferable!”
“Okay stop now,” Bianca told us. “Why don’t you go down to town and get some sugar.”
“Okay,” I said as we walked down to town you could practically feel the coldness between us. Just as we were about to get there the bushes started rustling
“Get down,” I gasped. I pushed her down to the ground. As the rustling got closer I was sure we were going to get caught. The first time we had been nearly caught we had been luck. Now our luck had probably run out. Ten suddenly there was a hand around my mouth and a hand around my eyes. I was dragged into a sitting position.
“Keep quit or the girl gets a knife in her neck”
I couldn’t see the knife but the coldness in his words had been obvious, so I didn’t doubt him. I was picked up and covered with a burlap sack. I was put in something and the doors were closed behind me.
“Rachel,” I whispered
“Yes,” she replied
“Are you okay”
“Yes I am fine”
“We have to get out of here.”
“Well… you’re right,” she replied
“I think I put my pocket knife in my back pocket,” I told her “but it might have fallen out.”
“I got it,” she said after a minute.
“Put it in my hand” I said. Then I started sawing through the rope.” This is going to take forever.”
“Hurry” she replied “I am not sure we have forever.”
Finally we got free,
“Run,” I hissed as we got outside. Then I looked around and saw a guard.
“Hey,” he yelled “stop.”
“Keep running” I gasped. “Don’t stop,” I said.
“Wow” she gasped back” that is kind of obvious.”
“Yea well it’s true,” I gasped back.”
“Faster,” she told me”
“Can’t,” I gasped back “haven’t had any exercise in like 13 years”
“And I have?” she asked
“Well you have had more,” I retorted.
There was a very long silence.
“Okay okay,” she said “let’s just stop fighting.”
“Okay,” I agreed “That’s probably a good idea.” I gasped back “They are getting closer.”
“Climb that tree,” She said.
“Good idea,” I commented, “but we have to climb fast so they don’t see us.
“we had just got high enough to be confident we wouldn’t be seen when the first man rounded the corner. “Where are they?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” the second man said “but Alex Is going to be mad.”
“Uh-Oh you know what Alex is like when he is mad.”
“Alex,” I murmured “I know that name.”
“Where from,” Rachel asked.”
“Oh I remember he is the man who took care of me when I was hurt in that factory explosion.”
“He must be like the boss of the whole thing or something” Rachel told me
